In a shocking over night crime spree citizens of Night Harbor are waking up the stark reality that they are stark naked.
We took the the streets to get live reactions, artist renditions have been censored to protect the modesty of those interviewed – whether they requested it or not.
“I have no idea what happened. I did NOT fall asleep on shift! I’m going to lose my job… you hiring?” – Random watchman that asked not to be identified.
“I’m starting to think this isn’t just a hazing incident!” – Steel Talons trainee as she ran by.
“Do I look worried? Do I look amused. I am neither. The pigs? They are not worried, they will eat good soon enough.” – Mafeed the Butcher.
Grabbing our notepad Stumpy simply drew a sad face with tear drops.
“Many monks take a vow of poverty and minimalist living. Very few take it to this extreme.” -Chahaya Tam. Korga just waved, a lot. It was mildly uncomfortable.
“Long ago we reached an agreement with the Tailoring and Textiles Guild stating we would not research any form of summon clothing spells. We are reviewing that agreement for emergency measure situations. READ FASTER!” -Tenebrim Tam
The every popular Bath House released a brief statement simply saying, “Closed until decency returns to Night Harbor.”
“No, the shop name has nothing to do with myself or anyone that works here. BEGONE!” – we don’t remember who said it, strangely enough.
The United Banks of Night Harbor released a simple but effective statement:
“Your goods are safe in here. Please keep your goods safe out there.”
Also with a brief statement, the Tailors and Textiles Guild had this to say:
“Please bare with us while we work through the surge of orders.”
Speaking in an off the record agreement, one local bar owner said, “This is going to cost an enormous amount in clean up, and you can be darn sure the Inquisitors are going to make sure we meet every health code statute. Sure hope we can survive this.”
In a more official stance, the Bar and Hospitality Union representative gave us an update on how it’s affecting them:
“Honestly not that much different, maybe a few more new faces since the Bath House is taking this kinda hard. Did we ever pick a great name for these situations though, eh? By the way drinks half off while clothes are a hundred percent off, hurry!”
No one from the Lamplighter’s Guild was available for comment, in fact, no one could be seen in their offices at all. We did make contact with one alleged member that we occasionally work with who said: “Darndest thing, innit?”
More as we uncover the truth and all is revealed.
